Surviving Christmas Day With Relatives You Don’t Like: The Gift Edition

Christmas Day: the one time of year you receive presents you never wanted from people you wouldn’t trust to choose a tin of beans for you.

You’ve cooked, cleaned, prepped, basted, chopped, peeled and hosted like the domestic goddess you are… and in return? An assortment of gifts so baffling they could be used as psychological warfare.

Let’s break down the characters, the chaos, and, most importantly, your survival tactics.

1. Auntie Harrods (Budget: £5. Swagger: £500)

You know the type.

She arrives with a carrier bag from a supermarket that only stocks three types of wrapping paper, yet she presents it like she’s emerging from Harrods with a limited-edition Dior hamper.

Inside you’ll find:

A bath set no human skin can tolerate

A candle that smells like “Distress + Vanilla”

A mug with “Live Laugh Love” in a font that should be illegal

She beams with pride, waiting for your reaction like she’s handed you the keys to a small coastal villa.

Survival tactic:

Overact. Give her an Oscar-worthy “OH WOW” that suggests you’ve just been gifted a Cartier bracelet. It costs nothing and she’ll be dining out on that moment until Easter.

2. The Relative Who Loves the One Thing You Didn’t Make

You’ve cooked the full spread.

Homemade gravy, slow-roasted potatoes, a turkey rubbed with herbs you can only pronounce after a glass of wine.

And what gets the rave review?

“The stuffing’s gorgeous! Is it homemade?”

No. It’s from a packet. A 45p packet.

You could garnish the table with truffle shavings and edible gold leaf, and they’d still prefer the dehydrated breadcrumbs from aisle two.

Survival tactic:

Smile sweetly and say:

“I’m so glad you like it. I made it specially for you.”

And you did: you made it by pouring water on it.

3. The Re-Gifter Who Shows No Shame

Every year, without fail, you open your present and immediately recognise it.

Because you gave it to them in 2019.

It still has the same dent in the box.

Survival tactic:

Say, “This is lovely—so thoughtful,” while taking great joy in knowing you are now part of a deeply dysfunctional family heirloom cycle.

4. The Relative Who Buys You Clothes… From the Middle of Lidl

They hand over a suspiciously square package.

You open it, praying for something neutral.

Instead, you get:

A fleece that looks like it escaped from a caravan park

Pyjamas with cartoon penguins doing yoga

Socks thick enough to stand up on their own

They say, “I thought this was so you.”

You wonder what you’ve done to give off “woman who enjoys novelty alpaca print nightwear” energy.

Survival tactic:

Wear the socks. They are, admittedly, cosy.

5. The One Who "Forgot" Your Gift

There’s always one.

They watch you open your presents and then say,

“Oh… yours is… at home. I must’ve left it near the…”

They trail off because even they can’t finish the lie.

Survival tactic:

Say, “Oh don’t worry, your presence is a gift.”

Smile.

Let the guilt simmer.

6. The Overeager Hobby Pusher

You mention once, in 2014, that you enjoyed a spot of drawing.

Now every year you receive:

A “Learn to Watercolour” book

A hands-free magnifying visor

A 338-piece craft set designed for 8-year-olds

Survival tactic:

Put one item proudly on display. Hide the rest before anyone suggests a “show us what you’ve made.”

7. The “I Saw This and Thought of You” Liar

They hand you something so unrelated to your personality, lifestyle, and soul that you genuinely worry they’ve mixed the tags.

A potholder shaped like a cow?

An electric toenail file?

A novelty hat with sparkly antlers?

Yes. All apparently “so you.”

Survival tactic:

Reply, “What a… bold choice.”

Safe, polite, and confusing enough to keep them awake that night wondering what you meant.

8. The Grand Finale: Dessert Diplomacy

You bring out the dessert you’ve slaved over.

A thing of beauty.

Layers. Dusting. Flavour. Texture.

Then someone says:

“Oh, I’m fine with a Müller Corner.”

A Müller Corner? In your home? On Christmas Day?

Survival tactic:

Serve yourself the biggest slice of your own dessert.

Protect your peace.

Final Survival Notes

Christmas with difficult relatives isn’t about warmth or bonding.

It’s about getting through the day without losing your grip on sanity while holding a glass of prosecco at a 30-degree angle.

Remember:

You are not alone.

We have all received a terrible gift.

We have all watched someone praise packet stuffing over our culinary excellence.

And we have all, at some point, fantasised about pretending we’re ill on Christmas morning.

Hold your nerve.

Hold your drink.

And hold onto the knowledge that Boxing Day belongs to you.